One of my favorite L&O articles, an adorable piece by Michael Freidson in "Time Out New York," 8/21-28/97. Headline reads, "Jerry's kid: I want a dad just like the dad who stars on 'Law & Order'"
Let's be clear: I have a real dad. There is a guy out there who fed me, played catch with me and imparted to me the art of the silent fart. God love him.
But the perfect dad would be one you could turn on and off when you wanted. One whose advice could be doled out in a weekly, one-hour time slot. The ideal dad is a TV dad.
My No. 1 TV pop is Law & Order's Jerry Orbach; his Detective Lennie Briscoe has the perfect paternal mix of authority and warmth. While Briscoe--a former alcoholic with two estranged daughters--may not be the pillar of morality, much of the character's compassion comes from Orbach, who infuses his "just the facts, ma'am" role with a deadpan likability. I'd want to come to him with my problems.
Out of sheer infatuation with the thought of getting a new pop, I set up a briefing with my new father-in-Law.
"It's a charming idea," says the jovial Orbach from the set of Law & Order, now entering its eighth season. The Bronx-born Orbach--whose other fatherly roles include the dad in Dirty Dancing and the voice of the kid friendly candelabra in Beauty and the Beast--wasn't spooked by me, maybe because he already has two other sons, Tony and Chris. Although they are adults now, they still go to Mets games with their dad and often eat dinner at their parents' house.
As for his troubles with his TV girls, Orbach believes, "It was basically two things: One was the divorce, the other was the demands of being a cop mixed in with the alcoholism. I think that alienated the kids, and Lennie wasn't there when they needed him."
There was a time Orbach wasn't entirely there for his sons, either. Early in his acting career, he would tour with theater companies. "I felt like I missed some of their growing up," he says. "But we love each other, and we've never been afraid to say that."
So what about me? This was my fantasy; would Orbach be there for me when I needed him?
What would he say if I came home with a bad report card? "I would tell you that you have the potential to do much better, and unless you want to end up saying, 'You want fries with that?' you'd better put in a little more work." Tough love.
What if I cheated on my wife, the way Briscoe's partner Rey Curtis did? "I would tell you to get some kind of counseling but not necessarily tell her you cheated on her. What she doesn't know won't hurt you." Aw right!
And if I came home from a summer in the Catskills with Patrick Swayze as my dirty dancer? "And you're a guy?" asks Orbach, after a long pause. "Because I've spent so much time in the theater and have known so many gay people, I wouldn't be taken aback at all. I'd say 'Well, this is a shock, but I'll learn to deal with it.'"
And what if I just wanted a hug? "You got it!" he barks like Briscoe on a
good day. "Hugs are the best things in life. Everybody needs a hug now and
then." Ah, to be a son of Orbach.
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