6.8 Helping Children Relate to Parents and Caregivers

An important casework task is helping children adjust to their life situations. A child is an active participant in a family system. As services are offered to parents, children and substitute caregivers have distinct reactions to the changes made by other participants in the system. It is imperative that caseworkers consider how these changes affect children. In most cases, children can, if properly prepared, make easier transitions and adjustments.

Caseworkers must assist children with understanding the changes their parents are making.

While the responsibility for change rests with the parent, children should be part of the plan for change. Family therapy may be helpful in working through the feelings, behavioral and emotional changes that will result when parents begin to take responsibility for their actions and learn to live healthier lifestyles.

Involving Children in Relating to Their Parents or Caregivers

· Ensure that frequent and quality visitation occurs between the parent and child.

· Seek input from the child and frequently discuss the child's perception of the situation with the parent.

· Facilitate and model open communication among all parties. Promote empathy, understanding and respect within the family..

· Look for the "teachable moments" that occur between parent and child and support and encourage appropriate new behaviors.

· Promote family education regarding the unique needs of the child, family or both, including any illnesses or handicapping conditions. Provide age-appropriate information to the child regarding such issues as his or her parent's drug or alcohol addiction, mental or physical illness, or other conditions affecting the family.

· Involve children in the development of the comprehensive family service plan and in the development of the family's support system as age appropriate.

· Assist the child in understanding and establishing appropriate age and role behaviors within their family.

· Help the child who has been placed for adoption/guardianship understand his/her changed relationship with his/her parents. Facilitate "optimal level of connectedness" (Pine, Warsh and Maluccio, 1993) with parents and other family members.

Note: some of the points in this section were taken from the Cook North Fostering Teamwork Guide, Visitation Project, 2001