An American in the Cosmo House

As the only non-ethnic, native-English-speaking, blond-haired, blue-eyed American currently living in the Cosmo House, it’s not unusual for visitors to the house to express surprise when they encounter me in the kitchen or working in the yard. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Visitor: “So where are you from?”

Me: “Wisconsin.”

Visitor, unsatisfied with my reply: “But where are you REALLY from?”

Me: “Really, Wisconsin.”

Visitor, looking puzzled: “But this is an international house.”

Me: “Yes.”

Visitor, getting agitated: “So what are YOU doing here?”

Me: “I live here.”

Visitor, now thoroughly confused: “But you’re American?”

Me: “Yes…”

At this point, either the visitor gives up or we get into a long and complicated discussion of the fact that I speak three languages, have lived on three continents, have studied cross-cultural communication and second-language acquisition, and am in fact more “international” than many of my housemates from abroad. But it does raise some questions. What does it mean to be international? What does it mean to be part of the Cosmopolitan Club? What does it mean to be American?

While I realize that the majority of those involved in Cosmopolitan Club events—and presumably, the majority of you reading this newsletter—are genuine “international students” with foreign accents and passports from another country, I am writing this both to and on behalf of my fellow Americans, hoping to dispel the stereotype (held both by Americans and students from elsewhere, I should add) that Americans by definition are neither international nor cosmopolitan, and have no place in the Cosmo House or Club.

To my fellow Americans, I understand your hesitation to get involved: You feel kind of stupid because everyone else is “from somewhere” or considers “home” to be far away. (I hate it when people ask where’s “home.” I’ve lived here for seven years – it’s as much “home” as Wisconsin, where I haven’t lived in eighteen years.) As an American, you feel inadequate, because everyone else has a “culture” and “ethnic foods” that they present at Coffee Hours or dinners. What do we have? Hamburgers? Pizza? Macaroni and cheese? I know I shouldn’t take it personally, but it hurts after a successful Thanksgiving dinner to hear others complain that cranberry sauce tastes funny with turkey, and turkey is too dry anyway, and pumpkin pies are too sweet, and all that cream in the vegetables gives them indigestion. Perhaps even worse, I’ve started to agree with them! Where’s my pride in my national cuisine and national holiday?

It’s also hard to see people who come as guests to this country, to participate in the excellent educational and often employment opportunities that this country offers, complain about the busy-ness, the superficiality, the fast food, or the politics. Don’t they realize that it’s because of that political system they don’t like, that willingness to eat fast food and put work above interpersonal relations that the country has educational and employment opportunities to offer? You can’t have it all!

But enough ranting about why it’s hard as an American to live at the Cosmo House. I’ve chosen to stay here for four years, so clearly there’s something positive about it. And I would say that “something” is the exposure to people with a variety of values, lifestyles, traditions, and expectations that enrich my education and life experience. I study cultural history, so for me it’s natural to want to experience other ways of life. It helps me to understand my historical subjects when I on a daily basis interact with various cultures and perspectives and worldviews.

But it’s not just historians and anthropologists who benefit from cross-cultural experiences. In an increasingly globalized world, most people will end up working with individuals of other cultural backgrounds, marketing products in other countries, collaborating with business partners on other continents, and speaking on the phone with clients who have unfamiliar dialects or foreign accents. We can’t avoid it. Why not embrace it? This is a great opportunity to compare our own lifestyle and values with that of others, decide what we really do value and perhaps make changes in our own lives based not on how we were raised, but on a larger sense of how the world works.

To the international students involved in the Cosmopolitan Club, I ask you to accept us as Americans and to learn from us just as we learn from you. Just as it’s hard for you to feel accepted in a group of exclusively Americans (don’t tell me that’s not true! I see how you bunch together and make friends with other foreign students…), it’s hard for us to feel at home in a group that’s based on the commonalities of being a minority culture and a long way from home.

Don’t blame us that we don’t know your music or your songs or your food—introduce them to us. Don’t assume that because we’re American, we wouldn’t want to spend time with you—ask us and see! Really, honestly, most of us are not like what you see in the movies, just like TV portrayal in the U.S. of your country is not that accurate either.