Kate (2nd from left) with Ajay Sikander Singh’s uncle Jitender, mother Gurdeep, and aunt Amita
(Click on thumbnail image to view larger image.)
What is a family… a blood relative, a friend, a lover, a mother, a pet, a role model, a housemate, even an ambassador? Physical or emotional, family is a concept that translates across all countries and cultures. It is easy to say that the housemates of Cosmo Club form a family of their own, supporting each other through daily stresses and challenging their views of the world. However, I would have never imagined that my Cosmo family of sleep-deprived, fun-loving, college peers would extend into a family with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even a sister!
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| Downtown Guangzhou, a popular destination for our evening family walk |
Chasing a career dream… I found myself on an ambitious self-guided trip to Tokyo, Guangzhou, and New Delhi. Well, ambitious may not be the best word. Perhaps I should say naïve? When my travel-savvy Cosmo friends heard about the trip, they immediately opened their hearts and homes to help me along the way. Their generosity and kindness have made this experience one of the most memorable events in my life and have broadened my understanding of family in a way I never imagined.
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| Tokyo, Sayuri and Naoto having fun and posing in the NaNa Museum |
The timeless lights of a Tokyo night… I gathered my things and nervously looked through the crowd. There she was with a smile bigger than I remembered. Sayuri, a former housemate, had come in the late evening to greet me at the airport and show me around her city. Naoto, her shy and humble partner, helped with my baggage and directed me towards the train station. Only spending one night in Tokyo, we took advantage of the night hours touring around the city and Sayuri’s university.
The most enjoyable part of our meeting was having the chance to experience Japanese university life. Sayuri invited me to stay in her dorm room. Her efficient use of space was inspirational! In the morning we laughed and shared a typical student breakfast; soup, rice, tea, and sticky fermented beans. In our brief time together, Sayuri gave me a sense of family in a foreign place and an understanding of Tokyo which I imagine many tourists are not privy too.
Homemade wontons in a mother’s Guangzhou kitchen… Wei? Wei? Ni hao? Bobo! These were my first words to ZhongNing’s father. In fact, these were the words we spoke most often during our month visit. Originally, ZhongNing and I had planned to see China together. Although our trips did not overlap, his parents offered to host me during my visit. As a child, I always dreamed of staying with a host family but never had the chance. Staying with ZhongNing’s mother, father, and aunt was a once-in-a-lifetime treasure.
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| ZhongNing’s father and Aunt give me lessons in the art of wonton folding |
Without ZhongNing to translate for us, we learned to rely on our intuition, body gestures, and other creative forms of expression. Our happiest times together were simple moments; walking around the stadium after dinner, learning how to cook Sichuan recipes, the unfolding events of the daily Chinese television drama, late night card games, and exploring local dim sum cuisine.
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| Enjoying Delhi Hart with Ajay’s family during a celebration for national Republic Day |
ZhongNing’s family treated me as their own child. ZhongNing often teased me, insisting that his parents were nicer to me than him! What really made us feel like a family was our ability to deal with both the good and the bad times. When I came home with a stubborn sinus infection, ZhongNing’s mother rushed me to the hospital. During a heated discussion about the evolving relationship between parents and their adult children, we expressed ourselves with pencil drawings, broken Mandarin, and an electronic English translator. While we do not have a blood relation, ZhongNing’s family with always be my Bobo and Ayi (Mandarin for Uncle and Aunt).
Doting and dedicated in Delhi… They live in a small neighborhood community. Each house is shared by a large family, encircling a little park where the children play and the restless dogs clamor for an evening stroll. Every morning she woke early to take care of her husband’s parents and say her prayers. She is a loyal and reliable mother, tending to the household and coordinating the staff to best serve the daily needs of her family.
Much like the son they raised, Ajay’s family is strong-willed; determined to uphold their religious values and continually strengthen their family bond. Escorting me around the city and taking a long road trip to Agra, the family took every opportunity to share with me their love of New Delhi.
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| My Indian “sister” Tanya and her beautiful university business campus |
Knowing it was not safe for me to travel alone, Ajay’s cousin Tanya, who was raised as Ajay’s sister, adopted me as another sibling and dedicated all of her free time towards building our friendship. Living with an Indian family is a unique and rewarding experience. We divided our time and space between two neighboring houses, spending each meal together and every night enjoying over-dramatic Indian soap operas.
Our family grew with the simple and ordinary experiences of daily life; visits to the local mall, refreshing walks in the vegetable market, enjoying worship at a nearby temple, and laughing together with family videos of a recent Indian wedding for Ajay’s second “sister” Natasha. This family, who treats their staff as their own children, quickly took me in as one of the family, offering a glimpse of India one could not find in tour books, the delicate and dynamic workings of a family in India.
Although my Cosmo friends and I have separated from our Champaign house, we have extended the boundaries of our old home, joining families to give them another identity as cultural ambassadors. Sometimes, family can be a stressful experience, but a family is a support network, and I have no doubt that the Cosmo family will continue to grow and support each other and their world community in many more unexpected ways.
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ZhongNing and his parents in China |