Al-Anon Family Group

District 12 of Southern Illinois

The Forum magazine articles - October 2002

The following articles from the October 2002 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. For more articles, check The Forum archive.

Alateen to Al-Anon:
It Is Indeed a Family Disease
Mary Beth P., Kentucky

     I found myself in Alateen at age 13. Unlike most rebellious teens, I wanted to go. I wanted a place to belong or just to fit in. Wow, did I find all that and more in Alateen! In the meetings I found other teens who were affected by the disease of alcoholism.
     Basically I grew up in Alateen and then started going to Al-Anon. There seemed to be something missing, though. I think it was because I really wasn't doing much footwork.

     I slowly walked away from the program and then my Higher Power led me right back where I belonged--to Al-Anon.

     I have met so many great people in the fellowship. When I came back, they welcomed me with unconditional love. That is when I knew I was in the right place.

     When I was away from the program, I believed I was all alone. Yet, there was always something out there leading me back to Al-Anon. Many great people loved and missed me.

     Today I have matured a lot and now I can do so much more footwork. Working the Steps, having a wonderful sponsor, and letting the program just flow in me has made a big difference in my life. Today I can see the program growing in me "One Day at a Time."

GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE
Kathy W., Ohio

      I don't know much about computers, but I work on one every day in my current job. It has been an adventure learning how to move around, switch from screen-to-screen, cut and paste, etc.
     One day while minimizing one window to work in another, I realized how I could mentally minimize a personal problem. The problem was still there, but it no longer blocked my view from getting on with my life and doing what I needed to do. At any time I could maximize it, look at it, make changes if needed, and then either minimize it again or close it all together if it was no longer a problem.

     This new "tool" is helping me to detach from crises that in the past would have consumed my thoughts all day long. Minimizing lets me "Keep It Simple" by taking "First Things First" while I decide "How Important Is It?"

_{I Decided to Go
to
Work}
Rita D., Kentucky

Since coming to Al-Anon, I have been looking at what I would like to change about myself. When my sponsor told me I could ask God to remove my defects of character, I thought it was wonderful. I envisioned God taking them away, leaving me with a clean slate. No character defects meant I would be the perfect person that I always wanted to be! Of course, my sponsor put a damper on that idea by reminding me to look for progress, not perfection.

I always thought of myself as a fair person. I had not seen myself as either judgmental or critical. When I looked at myself more honestly, however, I saw that I was very judgmental--so I decided to go to work. I got ready to have God remove this defect of character, and I humbly asked Him to do so. Soon I found many opportunities to see how judgmental I was, and I was amazed at how hard I had to work.

When I started to say something critical, my Higher Power helped me turn the criticism around and find something good to say instead. My hard work began to pay off when I noticed that I no longer reacted automatically with a judgmental remark. I also began to notice that I could forgive other people when they were being judgmental toward me. The most unusual thing I began to notice, though, was how very critical I had been of myself.

I needed to look at the way I judged myself so harshly, compared with the way I looked at other people. I've found this to be my most difficult defect to handle. It really doesn't matter when I learned to be so hard on myself. What does matter is realizing that my willingness to change is my most important tool.

As long as I can show my willingness to be less critical of everyone, including myself, I'm making progress. "Progress not perfection," as my sponsor still keeps reminding me, "is the key to my serenity." Knowing that I'll never be perfect is a relief--as long as I keep looking at the areas of my life that I would like to change. My goal today is to experience peace within myself for the things that I do accomplish.