Al-Anon Family Group

District 12 of Southern Illinois

The Forum magazine articles - November 2002

The following articles from the November 2002 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. For more articles, check The Forum archive.

If I Can Trust A Mule
Jack S., Ohio

      Five years ago I rode a mule into the Grand Canyon. The guide told me to keep my mule close to the one in front of me, not to fear the mule because the animals know where to go, and a mule hasn't fallen into the canyon yet. The mules are very large and when I looked down, its stomach stuck out so I could not see its hooves or the trail.
     As I first started down the canyon, the trail was very narrow and the canyon walls were very steep. The guide told me not to look straight down, but to look out and enjoy the view--trust the mule. I spent about half a mile on the trail before I could do that, but the more I trusted the mule the better I felt. Then I could enjoy the ride and the beauty of the canyon.

     I learned that if I could trust a mule with my life and feel safe and secure, surely if I trusted my Higher Power, then I could overcome anything, especially fear. I realized that the more I trust my Higher Power, the better my life becomes, and I'll have more peace and serenity. The greater my faith, the greater the results, and my connection with my Higher Power and other people grows deeper. I have faith in my faith, and when I lack faith I pray for it.

A LIGHT WENT ON
Kathy W., Ohio

      When I first came to Al-Anon, one of the hardest things for me to learn was how to accept. Acceptance became a constant struggle. First I had trouble accepting my husband at all. Within a month he was newly sober and then I really struggled to accept him and his behaviors.
     I shared at a meeting how hard it was for me. Every day I was reading on acceptance and trying to know and accept God's will in my life. After I spoke, another member shared how he had to accompany acceptance with gratitude. A light went on. I had already learned that I felt a lot better whenever I made a gratitude list. I was working on acknowledging that what I perceived as bad only seemed to be bad. When I put all these concepts together and let them work in my life, they really made a difference.

     A lot has happened since then. My husband died after a long struggle with liver disease. My daughter and her children experienced their own struggles with the effects of someone else's drinking. I have had mishaps and misfortunes, but I am learning to look at whatever is in my life and to accept it gratefully as a gift from my Higher Power.

     When something troubles me, I use these tools plus conversations with a loving sponsor, Al-Anon meetings, and literature. Today I can gratefully accept what used to be very painful, uncomfortable, or just frustrating. I can take things calmly, one day or one minute at a time, slowly digesting what is happening without rushing into action. I am so grateful that I found and finally accepted Al-Anon into my life. Now I know that together we can do anything, and I am not alone.

_{Reaping
the Benefits}
Susan V., California

Just when I feel secure in my understanding of one of the Twelve Steps, Traditions, or Concepts of Service, God provides me with another opportunity for growth.

I knew working the Twelve Steps would become more meaningful after I heeded repeated suggestions to get a sponsor. Since my willingness level was extremely high, I chose a sponsor who looked great, shared at meetings, had serenity, was of service at meetings, to Alateen, and beyond the group level. Something was working in her life and I wanted what she had.

At first I did many of the things she suggested just to please her. Eventually I reaped the benefits and understood the reasons for her suggestions and the reason for doing the Steps in order. She also emphasized the Twelve Traditions, which made me better informed at meetings and a more loving and contributing member of my own family.

Life went smoothly. My changed attitude led to changes in my actions, and I began to apply the Al-Anon principles in all my affairs. At this time I began to sponsor women in the program. My understanding of the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts of Service grew as these women challenged me to walk with them through the toll that alcoholim had taken on their families.

Now the women I sponsored are sponsoring other women and one more time the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts of Service are revealing themselves to all of us. I truly don't understand why things work the way they do. It is amazing that so many people who have been distorted by other people's drinking and damaging behaviors can end up as loving, caring, giving people who are willing to give back what they have been given.

I thank God daily for the program that began with our cofounders, Lois W. and Anne B.