Al-Anon Family GroupAl-Anon Family Group
The following articles from the July
2007 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon
Family
Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. For more articles, check The Forum
archive.
Dear New Member
Madeleine
C., Quebec
<> Welcome! No matter how fearful you are, please don’t leave the meeting. I was so scared to go to my first Al-Anon meeting. I had promised myself that I’d sit in the back of the room and not talk. But when I went into the meeting room, everyone was sitting around a table. The people were friendly and kind, although I was still uneasy.
Sure I cried at the meeting. That was because the members were expressing what I was feeling. The pain and disappointment of living with active alcoholism is unbearable alone.
After the meeting, which was an hour and a half, I received hugs before leaving with plenty of literature and members’ phone numbers. One member called me the next day and she soon became my Sponsor.
The most important message I took home after my first meeting was that I was powerless over alcohol and it wasn’t my fault that my husband drank so much. That was a big weight off my shoulders.
Peggy
J.,
Missouri
My son’s drinking had been escalating from the time he was 14. Slowly he started adding other substances to increase the feeling of intoxication.
When he was 17, he was arrested and charged with a felony. My husband and I knew we didn’t want to pay his bail to get him released. Two days later, my husband and I went on vacation.
Finally, it was arranged that our son would be released if he went to an inpatient treatment program, which he did. While he was there, my husband and I attended family week. We knew we needed help finding peace in our lives, but we thought it was only possible if our son was sober.
While we were attending some group sessions at the center, I kept hearing a counselor ask the patients, “Would your mom consider Al-Anon? Would your wife consider Al-Anon?”
During a break, the counselor shared with us that she was a member of Al-Anon. She said she had learned to live a peaceful life while both her homeless son and homeless daughter were actively drinking.
I couldn’t believe what she was saying, but I just started to have a suspicion that there was a chance I could be helped.
Our son was released from the center and I attended my first meeting two days later. Today I know a new peace and serenity despite the fact that my son continues to live an alcoholic lifestyle.
I like to tell people that my son’s stay at a 30-day treatment center didn’t have much effect on him, but it sure made a difference to me.
Marriage Counselor Suggests Al-Anon
Stephen C.,
Illinois
I was at the end of the line trying to save my marriage in the spring of 1989. Nothing I tried was working. Then my wife asked me to go to marriage therapy.
I was afraid to go, but wanted to do anything to save the marriage. We had tried counseling before. It went well at first, but my wife was resistant to the male psychologist.
We quit going just before the birth of our second daughter, but the problems were still there. Finally, we found a female psychologist we both liked.
During one session, the psychologist said that we could both benefit from Al-Anon since the disease of alcoholism was running through both sides of our family. I thought my wife was the problem. Why should I go? But I was in so much pain that I would even try Al-Anon.
Since I worked nights, I went to day meetings. When I walked in my first meeting, there were more females. They welcomed me with the love and understanding that only Al-Anon could give.
Going to the psychologist and Al-Anon meetings helped our marriage get better. However, to my great sadness, I had to let go of the marriage. I had Al-Anon to help me get through that difficult time—the death of my marriage.
Today I’m thankful for the psychologist who showed me Al-Anon. This gift has helped me, along with my ex-wife, raise our two daughters into two wonderful teenagers. Al-Anon has given me a better life.