Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - July 2006

The following articles from the July 2006 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.  
 

 

When I first came to Alateen, I was a complete control freak.  I thought I could control anything and everything that went on around me, even the alcoholic.  I wasted so much time trying to control his life that it made my life go down the drain as well.  I never put myself first because I was scared it would lead to more fights if I didn’t give the alcoholic all of my attention like he wanted me to.      That’s where Step One and the slogan, “Live and Let Live,” came in.  I realized that I didn’t have the power to change him.  I had to focus more on my life than on other people’s lives.  I had to stop pleasing other people and please myself.      As a senior, I plan to go to college next year for nursing, where I’ll still be able to help save lives.  Trying to change someone else is impossible.  People have to want to change and the only person I can change is me.

 

Half an hour into a two-hour flight, the plane hit a large area of turbulence.  I was on a business trip traveling on our company plane.  Since it was a small plane, the pilot couldn’t fly above the turbulence, so we had to endure flying through it.  Usually turbulence doesn’t affect me, but the plane was not only jumping up and down, it was also bouncing side to side.  The luggage was falling from the overhead racks.      We traveled like that for ten minutes before I realized I had tensed up and was holding onto the bottom of the seat.  I actually believed I was keeping the plane in the air!  Looking around, I noticed everyone else was doing the same.      I started thinking about how I had used the same technique concerning my life with the alcoholic.  As long as I was vigilant controlling things around me, I thought I had control of my surroundings.      Then I thought about how I could apply the first three Steps to this situation.  I had to admit I was powerless over turbulence and let go of my seat.  I cam to the conclusion that my Higher Power would get the plane to the ground one way or another—that was not up to me.  When I was able to let go of the situation, a feeling of calm surrounded me.  My flight was more comfortable from that point on.      After landing, I was joking about the experience with some of the other passengers who mentioned they noticed I wasn’t nervous.  What a gift—to be able to use the Steps to help me through the bumps in my life.