Al-Anon Family Group

District 12 of Southern Illinois

The Forum magazine articles - July 2002

The following articles from the July 2002 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. For more articles, check The Forum archive.

Acceptance is A Choice
Sheila S., North Carolina

       "If you don't stop fighting, you will sink like a stone and die!" I could barely hear my swimming instructor yelling those words at me as I struggled to keep my head above the surface. I was treading water in the deep end of the pool as part of an endurance test. I felt so exhausted that I didn't know what to do next. My mind was racing while panic began to overtake me.
     My instructor calmly said, "Give in to the water. Accept that you can't beat it. At first you'll feel like you are going under, but you won't. Accept that the water is stronger than you are, and you'll be able to save yourself."

     I have thought about that day many times since coming to Al-Anon. Al-Anon shows me how to accept the things I cannot change and to surrender to a power greater than myself. Fighting the disease of alcoholism is like fighting deep water while I am powerless. My Higher Power does not want me just to tread water. In Al-Anon my Higher Power gives me the opportunity to recover from the effects of alcoholism, but it is up to me to decide.

     Acceptance is a choice. It is a concious choice that moves me forward in recovery. I can sit around feeling sorry for myself, but I don't get anywhere when I am just treading water.

     First, I accept the reality of the disease of alcoholism. Second, I believe that my Higher Power will guide me if I honestly surrender. Then and only then I have found release from my defects of character. The way my growth and change have taken place in Al-Anon is through acceptance and faith. Acceptance for me means surrender--bowing to what I cannot change and becoming willing to ask my Higher Power for help.

     Now when I have racing and confused thoughts and panic begins to overtake me, I surrender and pray for the gift of acceptance. At first I think I'm not going to make it and that I'm going under--but I don't. Through Al-Anon my Higher Power leads me out of the deep end of alcoholism and into the calm waters of serenity, happiness, and peace.

My Only Assignment
Beth D., Kentucky

       "Give me an assignment and I can do it." That's what I say to my friends. It's how I have approached my whole life. I have waited for someone to tell me what to do and then I have completed the assignment.
     Well, after I married an alcoholic it became my assignment to make him behave. My spouse was a wonderful person. He just had a few things that needed work--especially his drinking. After many years of trying to do battle with the disease of alcoholism, however, I became hopeless. I am thankful that a family member steered me toward Al-Anon so I could begin the assignment of treating and recovering from my disease.

     The Al-Anon program has shown me that I don't have to wait on someone else's recovery in order to start living myself. My only assignment is to feel happy and enjoy a full life by keeping the focus on myself. In other words, I am my only assignment. My spouse, children, friends, and coworkers are gifts God has given me for enhancing my life.

     Al-Anon gives me Twelve Steps to help me recover from the effects of someone else's drinking. It provides me with Twelve Traditions to help me rebuild the relationships that I desire to keep. Al-Anon also offers me Twelve Concepts of Service to guide me in my interactions with the rest of the world.

     I am starting to learn what I like and what I dislike. I am beginning to trust in my Higher Power and to allow Him to replace my fear with faith. I know the only grade I will receive for my efforts on this assignment. It will be the serenity I receive from walking down the path of recovery. Wish me well on the journey!

I Had to Be
READY
Sherri F., Mississippi

In recent months we have had frequent rainfall that left my yard soaking wet. Even with a few sunny days, I still have standing water in low areas. I had hoped to mow the grass but couldn't, so I decided to do some puttering with the patio.

The pathway to the patio is one of those low, muddy areas in the yard. I thought I should put down some stepping-stones, but I didn't want to spend money on that right now. At this point I spotted a stack of bricks at the edge of the patio, which gave me the idea that I could lay bricks for the path. When I got my tools and started digging, the ground was just right--wet, but not too wet. I thought it would take quite a while for me to place several bricks, but once I got started, it was easy for me to lay five rows.

I reflected as I worked that this was much like working the Twelve Steps. I had to be ready, like the ground was, before I could work effectively. My Higher Power is the one who prepared me for the work, the same way He prepared the ground. When I started laying the bricks, I was a little awkward with the tools, but the more I worked, the more effective I became. It is the same with my work on the Twelve Steps. The tools of the program seemed awkward and unnatural at first, but with continued use, they helped me create a beautiful life. Now I have a path to my patio, but more importantly, I have a pathway to recovery.