Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - January 2007

The following articles from the January 2007 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.  
 

I am 15 and the son of an alcoholic.  I am an Alateen member.  The alcoholic is my stepfather and he has been my father since one month after my birth.      His drinking has caused quite a bit of grief in our family.  All of my dad’s drinking got my mother squirreled up and my brothers, sister, and I were having trouble at school and at home.      For the first 11 years of my life, we lived in East Los Angeles in a housing project.  The first 14 years of my life, I sided with my mother against my dad, but after a while I started feeling sorry for my father.      All during that time, I didn’t know a thing about Al-Anon.  My dad had been in A.A. off and on for two years.  All that time, we were going into debt and I was building up resentments.      My mother got us to go to our first Alateen meeting.  From then on, I went regularly.  To be truthful, I have not been working my Alateen program to the best of my ability, but I do think I have progressed.      My father and I get along better.  My mother and I can fight and argue and when we’re done, we make up.  I am so glad that I found Alateen.

My first Al-Anon experience

Anonymous, Trinidad

After living with alcoholism all my life, I didn’t find Al-Anon until I reached the age of 47.  Although my husband got to know A.A. in 1970, he never stayed sober until 1982.  Whenever he went to A.A. meetings, he always invited me and I always embraced the opportunity.      One night after the meeting was over, an A.A. member and his wife invited me to an Al-Anon meeting in their home group.  I asked, “What do you mean?”  The wife said to me, “Come, sit, and listen, and you will see if Al-Anon is for you.”      So, the following day, I said to myself that I would give Al-Anon a try.  It was the 19th of July 1994, when I walked through the doors of the room that night.  The first thing the members did was welcome me with hugs and kisses.  I have never felt so much love before.      The Chairperson started the meeting with the Serenity Prayer at 7:30 p.m. sharp.  She read the “Suggested Al-Anon/Alateen Welcome” and the 20 questions from Are You Troubled by Someone Else’s Drinking?  Al-Anon is for You!  (S-17).  I answered yes to almost every question.      I left the room filled with joy and happiness that I had never felt before.  From that night, I have been an active member of an Al-Anon Family Group.      Al-Anon has changed my life.  I have learned to love myself first, how to pray and love, and to deal with the worst situation with detachment and love.  Al-Anon is the best gift I have ever found.      After being in Al-Anon for the past 11 years and trying to make recovery for myself, I got the shock of my life.  The alcoholic slipped after 23 years of sobriety and if it were not for Al-Anon, I might have become more crazy than I was before Al-Anon.      At this moment, Al-Anon is giving me the strength, courage, and hope to handle this situation.  I can tell it is not easy, but I am coping by living “One Day at a Time.”      The gifts of this program are evident in every aspect of my life.  Thanks to Al-Anon I think my life is a miracle.  I will always be grateful to Al-Anon.

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Step One:  Turmoil and tranquility at the ocean’s edge—I am powerless

Barb R.

While I sat at the ocean’s edge, it was obvious that there was a Power greater than I.  The sea was immense—waves rolling in and out without ceasing.  Nothing I could do would stop the motion, change the waves significantly, or corral the vast amount of water that stretched to the horizon and beyond.  I was absolutely powerless over this body of water.      I observed beachgoers over the course of a week.  When the surf was rough and choppy, most people noted the advisories and stayed on shore.  A few went in anyway where they were thrashed about.  One was scraped and bloodied, another was caught in a riptide—a lifeguard had to rescue him.      When the water was calm, people of all ages relaxed in the water where the ocean gently massaged them.  As the waves got a little bigger, people had fun bodysurfing or catching a wave on a surfboard.      The pleasure, the tranquility, came from accepting the ocean for what it was and responding to it accordingly.  No amount of cajoling could whip up waves to surf on a calm day.  No amount of screaming or whining could calm the roiling sea on a stormy day.