Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - January 2003

The following articles from the January 2003 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.

 

When I first came to Al-Anon, I had no idea I was the one who had to change.  I grew up in an alcoholic family, but didn't know it.  I didn't know anything about the family disease of alcoholism even though I married two alcoholics.      Al-Anon was my first introduction to the disease concept and the idea of change.  It was a gradual process because first I had to learn who I was, which took me about ten years.  When I finally realized that the only way for me to change was through the Steps, Traditions, slogans, and other Al-Anon tools, things began to happen.  I started to change, and it became the most exciting part of my life.      I found my Higher Power in Al-Anon.  I've always had one, but I didn't know Him as my personal friend.  Now my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, is my daily companion and we do everything together.  I like to greet Him early in the morning, but sometimes forget and then remember that He controls my day--I don't.      Living "One Day at a Time" makes life easier for me.  I know I don't have to be alone.  Even though I've been in Al-Anon for over 25 years, I still feel the change in my behavior and attitude.  I've learned to accept the alcoholic in my life, and I'm still learning to accept my family, people, and life's happenings.      Al-Anon keeps me on my toes.  Sponsoring helps me to keep the focus on myself and to remember when I was a newcomer!  I learned how to love and show love to my children, and now they are doing the same with their children.      Al-Anon is a legacy I'm passing on to my children and grandchildren.  I grew up in this beautiful fellowship and I'm very grateful to my alcoholic because I found Al-Anon.

 

One of my sons called with the news that the police arrested him on a charge of driving under the influence.  I calmly spoke with him, reminding him that he is the son, grandson, and great-grandson of heavy drinkers.  I suggested he use his jail time to consider if this was really what he wanted his life to be.  I told him I loved him very much.      Later, I realized that I had practiced the principle of detachment with love.  Growing up, people had always taught me that good parents would have good children--any flaw in my children would be a reflection of me.  Al-Anon tells me this is not so.  I am not responsible for the choices other people make.  This idea had crept up on me unaware so when my son called I did not cry or ask, "How could you do this to me?"  I did not blame myself for his behavior.      Thank you, Al-Anon, for serenity and sanity.