Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - February 2007

The following articles from the February 2007 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.  
 

Many years ago, my sister asked me to take her to an A.A. meeting.  Whoa!  I could never do that.  What if someone saw me?  No, not me, never.  I had a nice job in a big Fortune 500 company.      The company’s policy, I learned, was to fire a person with a drinking problem as a last resort.  The policy was to seek rehabilitation for employees via a Twelve Step program.      Knowing the policy gave me courage I didn’t know I had.  The first meeting I took my sister to was a shock—nothing like I expected.  The second meeting with a different group was the same experience—loving concern, peaceful, and serene.      I asked the A.A. members how I could get that for me.  I wanted it.  I needed it.  Their answer was, “In Al-Anon.  It’s the room next door.”      I was sure I had caused my sister’s alcohol problem because I used to tease her until she cried.       The Al-Anon meetings were welcoming, loving, caring, and simply wonderful.  My wife came to two meetings a week and she liked it so much that she and some of her Al-Anon friends started a daytime meeting in our home.      With a job promotion, a relocation, and then my wife’s lengthy illness and untimely death, I drifted away from the program.  Even though I didn’t attend, I believe the strength I gained from Al-Anon kept me alive through a very difficult, yet beautiful, time in my life.      After many years, I’m back in Al-Anon.  I may be quiet because I’m embarrassed for being away for so long, but I love it.  For now, just let me give back by being here listening, really listening, and learning.  When I have courage, I’ll share what has helped me.

The pain of self-deception, the joy of self-discovery

Nancy B., South Carolina

The truth was in front of me one Saturday afternoon after years of living in the disease of alcoholism.  Revealing my pain and fear was a simple way to admit my life was out of control.  A friend’s daughter was visiting and she told me about Al-Anon.  Prior to that day, I had no idea what Al-Anon was or what it could offer me.      For years, I’d seen a church marquee that listed Al-Anon.  I also knew where a meeting was held that very evening.  Now I believe my Higher Power had been preparing me for that afternoon.      The Al-Anon members welcomed me with warm smiling faces.  I discovered hope that evening.  Not only did I see and hear hope, but the members showed me enough peace and serenity that I knew I wanted what they had.  I also heard “Mind my own business,” which I began putting into practice.      Long ago, I’d replaced being honest about who I was with stories about what I wanted other people to believe about me.  As I continued attending meetings, I found a home group where I felt comfortable enough to trust other people.  The Al-Anon tables were where I began getting honest with myself and started taking off my mask.      Through taking those baby steps, I learned about feelings and admitted how the disease affected me.  Soon the heavy burden began lifting from my shoulders and I, too, was looking at my life differently.      I truly believe that through working the Al-Anon Steps, having a supportive Sponsor, developing a closer relationship with my Higher Power, and getting involved in service, I was able to replace the mask with the real me.  I’ve found happiness I never believed could exist.       <>Al-Anon is a program that has given me a life.  I’ve discovered the real me—the one who is willing to take risks and dream again.  I’m grateful for everyone who has offered the hand of unconditional love.  Now I can give back what has been given to me.

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