Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - December 2002

The following articles from the December 2002 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.

 

The comforting, opening words of the Al-Anon meeting calmed me somewhat as I sat and listened.  I'd walked in struggling with my latest physical reaction, in my stomach, to my loved one's most recent life crisis.  In the meeting, I tried to keep an open mind, pay attention, and turn off the fear tapes that were running in my head.  I don't remember the meeting topic--maybe it was the slogans.  I clearly remember awakening to the thought, "I can live!"      I looked out the window and saw squirrels jumping from tree to tree.  I saw blue sky.  I heard children laughing.  Wow, I can live.  Right now, here in this moment, I am living!  The chair is supporting me, the members surrounding me in this meeting understand me, and there is an unseen presence here.  I am safe.      From that day on, I've known I have a choice.  I can replace the deadening thoughts of fear with the truth that I am living, or I can remain stuck in fear.      Over the years, the slogan "Live and Let Live" has deepened in meaning for me.  I used to think the "let live" part was to give others freedom to live their lives.  It does.  Yet, for me, it also means that I am to leave the past and future where they are and live in the present.  I know there is an unseen presence at work in my life, and spiritually I am becoming more awake.

 

The Al-Anon program has taught me so much about dealing with life and rolling with the punches.  Last Thursday my military husband called me at work to tell me the packers were coming in five days to move us to Kansas.  My first thought was, "But what about the family reunion this weekend?"      I needn't have worried.  My husband said he didn't think the move would hinder our trip.  It was like he was reading my mind.  So we went to the family reunion only to return today, and now we are preparing for our move that takes place tomorrow.  Without this program I would have panicked and fussed.  In the past, moving was a time for arguments--but it's different now.  We can talk about what we plan to do without irritating each other.      To get through each step of the adventure, I use the slogans "Easy Does It" and "How Important Is It?"  As my husband picks up boxes and we pack our special belongings that we will carry ourselves, I remember to pace myself and take the time to do what I need to do.  I rest, walk, eat, call a friend, and take it easy.  Does this approach slow me down?  Not at all.  If anything, these little breaks revitalize me so I can do more.      Oftentimes the things or events that get me excited are not really all that important.  I only realize what's happening after I start to feel flushed and short of breath.  I ask myself, "Is this so important that it will change my life and I will remember it in five years?"  If I can honestly answer yes, then I give myself permission to put lots of effort into praying about it.  If the answer is no, then I give it to the Higher Power I choose to call God.      With the help of the Al-Anon program, I find that stressful events in my life are much more manageable today.  This program has made the difference in changing my panicky mode to a calm one, and for that I am so grateful.