Al-Anon Family Group

The Forum magazine articles - April 2006

The following articles from the April 2006 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.  For more articles, check The Forum archive.  
 

 

Recently I became increasingly aware of my impatience with and intolerance of the alcoholic’s dry-drunk behavior.  Even though I chose to be in the relationship, I’m blaming myself for the alcoholic’s behaviors—just as the alcoholic has blamed me.  I do realize that I have options and only I can make my choices.  Others are responsible for theirs.      Al-Anon has given me tools and support to help make healthier choices.  Even when I’m feeling overwhelmed, lost, numb, and don’t know what to do, I can choose to attend a meeting, read Al-Anon literature, or call my Sponsor.  Then I receive the light of the Al-Anon program and the guidance of a Higher Power.  I don’t have all the answers, but I know I’ll find my way if I choose Al-Anon.

 

When I attended my first Al-Anon meeting, I felt as though I was dying from the inside out.  I’d been attending individual therapy sessions as well as group sessions.  The people in the group sessions had various issues and some also attended Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous.  When my therapist suggested I figure out why I was addicted to an alcoholic, I was shocked because I didn’t understand what she meant.  She referred me to Al-Anon.  I went in order to figure out what she was talking about.      After two years in Al-Anon, I realized I was so obsessed with what my husband was doing that I had lost myself.  Recovery has been a long, hard road and I know I still have a long way to go.  The Twelve Steps and the Al-Anon group’s support and understanding have literally saved my life.  I work the first three Steps over and over every day.  Steps Four through Twelve, I work as needed—but they all make sense to me now.      Since attending Al-Anon meetings and coming out of denial, I’m both amazed and appalled at the magnitude of alcoholism in our society.  So many people around me are dealing with the same issues I’m facing.  The bottom line for me is to be there for others, while keeping my primary focus on myself—a daily struggle.      Sometimes I think about comparing myself to others, but I’ve learned I can only get better when I’m comparing where I’ve been with where I’m going.  What works for one person may not work for me, but I can apply Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps to everything I face.      Al-Anon is a wonderful program for families and friends of alcoholics.  It has principles we can all use to improve our lives and our relationships with family and friends.  As I hear in meetings, we “practice these principles in all our affairs.”